My anger has officially been redirected from God towards the church and my community.
I had a long talk/cry/anxiety attack with Audrey. It was helpful in sorting out my emotions. It definitely didnt change how I feel. It just redirected those feelings in a more healthy direction. I am displeased in the way that my needs have been ignore by my community and the ways that I have been used by them. I am also upset because I have been putting in a lot of hard work in pursuing God but I feel that he has not been honoring it.
I dont know what all of this means or what conclusion can be drawn. I am still as confused as ever.
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I was cleaning out my facebook inbox and saw that I hadn't read a handful of messages or they didn't get forwarded to my Gmail inbox or something...anyway, one of those messages being yours and your blog!
So, I read through most of the recent ones from since school began. At least one of them talked about God kind of withholding blessings and stuff--things we talked about on Sunday, anyway. A thought came to mind (that you might not want to hear, but I'm sharing it anyway) about Adam and Eve. I wonder how they felt about God telling them not to eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, even though it was a good tree that was also useful for nourishment. I wonder what their perspective of God was because of that.
And then I think about what we talked about in Genesis at CBS regarding WHY God would withhold that from them in the first place...
I won't explain it because you're smart and insightful and can probably figure out where I'm going with this...but in the event that you don't, let's talk.
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