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I just wrote some ethereal bullshit. Ok, its time to be straight up.

I feel lonely, for several reasons.

1) I have cut out a lot of friends in my life because they were unhealthy relationships. Most of them are not destructive but are also not constructive. I need to be surrounded by people that I can laugh with but also share deep moments with. I am sorry, but a lot of people just cannot meet those needs. Because of this, my friends are few. I don't get to hang out with them often because they have complicated schedules. I frequently feel lonely.

2) There is this looming confusion with Yarely. Last week was just awesome with her. We connected a lot and I saw a very different side of her. We were intimate and I felt like I had a lot of her attention. This week, I feel the opposite. I am a lot more affectionate than I thought I was so her being a little more closed off has made me really sad. (I admit that this could be overanalysis)

3) I have lost my intentionality with people. I have this fear that they will end up dissapointing so I do not make the effort to hangout with people.