Yesterday should have been one month of going out...but it wasn't. That's just the way life is sometimes. The things that are supposed to happen don't. We have been emotionally acting as if we are still together but then there is no intimacy that would come with a relationship. So I guess we are this weird form of friends with benefits, without the benefits...kinda. I mean its totally nice to have someone to hang and talk with but I cannot see myself being satisfied with the place we are at. I will always want more. For the most part I have moved on but a part of me is still hoping and wishing to be with her. The expectations are still at the level that they were when we were talking/going out. I don't think that is fair to the both of us but I we don't know how to be anything else. So for now its fine but...what happens when one of us find a significant other? We won't be able to have the same relationship we do now, things will drastically change. We had a long talk about our relationship. It left me sad in the end.
Actually, I have been pretty sad lately in general. Vegas was sweet...but then I sprained my ankle...on the first night. I got so mad too because everyone wanted me to do all the stuff they were doing but I could barely walk. I hate when people don't take no for an answer...I feel that I get little respect from them. I am still mad at some people because of that whole situation. I actually yelled at them...that never happens. There are certain people that expect that I go if they invite me somewhere. If I can't, I can't, so fucking get over it.
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I guess you were just a glimmer of hope...
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