Almost always...

What does it mean to live and to live well?

I don't know...

Dissatisfied, that is a word I could use to describe my condition. I felt that some of my hopes and dreams were becoming realities but they have remained ethereal. There is a theoretical pause on those dreams, with no certainty that they will come to pass. I have realized that my dissatisfaction is the symptom of one immature desire, to get what I want. I am not getting what I want.

I am at a loss of control or maybe I just never had it to begin with. I have made the decision to leave God as a form of taking control over my life. It didn't work. Yet, my pride will not let me change that decision. This was one of the biggest choices I have made in my life. I don't want to admit that I was wrong in it because then I would have to face God again. No one wants to be wrong. I don't want to be wrong.

I am wrong.
Almost always.

I do...

I do not know what I want...but I know that I do not want this.